The Little Engine that will or get great shame. Day 6 bro

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The japanese version. Sometimes Family Guy can be so funny

Today has not been a good day. It is crazy how one thing can completely throw you off. I gained weight. I gained fucking weight. And what is crazy is that today I was more motivated to recovery than ever. I was even planning on what I was going to write about how I think I am doing better and how I made a really big step. Nope. Nope. I hear a gain weight and boom, everything is gone. You know, I see the scale go up and I don’t cry. I just make myself go but when someone says it to your face, even when they are congratulating you, it is like the biggest stab. 

She asked me why I am so obsessed with the number and why I believe the number defines me and why nothing in the world matters besides the number. I like my number, I need my number. It gives me control, I am good at this and it is consistent. I have built a life around the goal of a number and there is nothing like the satisfaction you get when you have a successful binge and purge episode or even better, a restricting. 

I’m sorry, i would write more I am just not having a good body image/sarah day and I don’t want to ramble on about how much I dislike sarah. Feeling very lonely and I am isolating pretty hard right now so I don’t want to write something that is upsetting. Y’all give me wayy to much love and support for me for me to basically insult it by fat talking and bashing myself. 

On a fun note, this bitch has gotten everybody to wear onsies. Hopefully, that will make support easier. If you happen to have 9 to 11 free on friday you should spend it with this bitch. I will even pay the $5. Sooo you are welcome. Please please please. I know one of you has to have friday free. Now not having anyone is just embarrassing because I cried about it in group one day and now when it gets mentioned everyone looks at me with the “dad’s sick look” because my parents can’t go. I understand that most of you are busy, and that’s totally cool. Please don’t change plans or anything, but if you have friday free and you are in the south park area. meet with this bitch. 

Sorry for being annoying, I am just trying to be somewhat assertive. 

Do what I say or my dick will crush youuuuuu

Assertivenessssss with dicksssssss

Sarah 

 

 

 

 

 

dick. 

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