Like a Room without a Roof


“I actually attack the concept of happiness. The idea that – I don’t mind people being happy – but the idea that everything we do is part of the pursuit of happiness seems to me a really dangerous idea and has led to a contemporary disease in Western society, which is fear of sadness. It’s a really odd thing that we’re now seeing people saying “write down 3 things that made you happy today before you go to sleep”, and “cheer up” and “happiness is our birthright” and so on. We’re kind of teaching our kids that happiness is the default position – it’s rubbish. Wholeness is what we ought to be striving for and part of that is sadness, disappointment, frustration, failure; all of those things which make us who we are. Happiness and victory and fulfillment are nice little things that also happen to us, but they don’t teach us much. Everyone says we grow through pain and then as soon as they experience pain they say “Quick! Move on! Cheer up!” I’d like just for a year to have a moratorium on the word “happiness” and to replace it with the word “wholeness”. Ask yourself “is this contributing to my wholeness?” and if you’re having a bad day, it is.”




3 responses »

  1. Sara I have a question. I’m being allowed a list of 10 foods I won’t have to eat.
    I put Beef Pork Chicken Feta cheese Beans/lentils Muenster cheese Fish Yogurt Spaghetti and Cream of wheat/ grits. My sister said to take off one of the meats and I’m wanting to take off fish cause it’s the easiest to hide? Help?! Any thoughts?

    P.S. You know me

    • Hmm well anonymous I am not going to make you write a dislike list because I feel as though thatd be maladaptive. One of the best/hardest things I ever did in my recovery was dedicate a week to doing the opposite of what my eating disorder told me to do. It legit was the turning point of my recovery. I’d I were you, challenge yourself to take of one of the foods that you refuse to eat. It’ll suck at first but it’ll really make a difference in the long run. I pinky swear. I send you the best of vibes my friend.

      Happy travels

      PS you spelled my name wrong

  2. Lol sorry SARAH. But it’s too late, I took off the 2 items that were easiest to hide so I can… You know. And the list is based off taste really, not ED.

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