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Do you ever feel so sad that it feels like there is a knife going through your chest? But you know your heart is beating, your blood is flowing and life is all around you and for some reason every step and breath you take feels like your last.

The stress of who you are takes a physical form of loved ones as they tip toe around you. Smiling, making small talk when everyone knows that you’re just a time bomb. You don’t want to scare them or hurt them anymore than you already do so you sum up your feelings to “fine”, hoping that they’ll call bullshit and recognize that depression can make days unbearable.

Have you ever felt completely numb and empty that you can’t make words out of people’s conversation and memories turn into this dull, grey blob? Music has lost it’s beauty, books have lost their magic and being awake is the biggest fear of the day.

And you feel like everything would be better if it all just stopped and the only thing stopping you is the hope that things will finally get better, your winter will turn into spring and the promises that these feelings are only temporary will come true.

I wait for that day every moment of my life because there has to be something better than this. There has to be.

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