All the muffins

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I am not a binger. Clearly, I have had binge episodes but that mainly had to do with malnutrition. Every person with an eating disorder has binged at one point but typically it’s just not my go to symptom. However, question for people with ED/Anorexia, do you ever go on cooking binges? Same feeling as a binge, complete distance from yourself, numbing out, etc., but instead of consuming the food you are cooking it. I made shrimp and grits, dessert, two batches of muffins and juice tonight. All the food I made were mostly fear foods and I never eat it, I just make it for my family, write little notes when I put it in the fridge or on the kitchen counter. It’s almost like I want to disguise it as a nice gesture when it is an eating disorder symptom to feed others food that you don’t think you deserve. I always do this when I am at home since my parents have go to bed at around 7 and I have the whole kitchen to myself. I just cook and cook and cook until 1 or 2 in the morning when I am physically exhausted. It completely detaches me from the atmosphere of Charlotte. I don’t think of how my dad is sick, I don’t feel the tension, and I don’t get angry at any given situation.

Does that happen to anyone else?

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