Tomorrow I’ll start my diet
Tomorrow I’ll start clean eating
Tomorrow I’ll start to skip x and work out for x minutes every day
Tomorrow I’ll buy a scale
Tomorrow I won’t fail at my diet
I tell myself this every night. I am growing tired of nightmares about my weight and looking in the mirror is becoming more and more devastating. The hours before I go to bed is when I make my game plan, listening to my ED tell me that dieting is more important than every one in my life. Around this time of day I love and trust my ED more than anyone. Im aware that this is all toxic but planning the next day to myself gives me a sense of comfort and control.
Everyday is the same. I do what I’m supposed to do. I eat my meals, I keep my food down, and I don’t work out. But each day it just gets harder and I don’t know how much longer I’m going to try.
I just want to be thin