All the anger

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My anorexia is furious. I ate way too much, I ate fried food, I snacked, I didn’t take my diet pills this evening and I haven’t lost weight

My recovery is furious as well. I’m nothing but a failure in this. I was supposed to be stronger. I was supposed to be a role model. people told me that they were proud of how well I was doing but today I purged all of my thanksgiving meal, and I broke a promise that I made in my recovery to never purge in containers again.

My mind is not a safe place. I want to wake up stronger and be the girl that people were proud of. Every inch of me is disappointed. I’m so sorry that I can’t be the person people expect me to be.

I need a hug 😦

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